A Horrifingly Funny Vacation
by Barbossa'sGirl3
Summary: When Avalon, Audrey, Parker, and Katelynn rent a beach cottage for the summer, the last thing they expected was having to share it with four guys. Four very unusual guys. The months ahead promise to be full of hilarious, awesome, awkward, strange, stressful, and possibly scary moments. But all good things must come to an end. Will hearts be broken when it's time to say goodbye?
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anyone except Avalon, Audrey, Katelynn, Parker, and extra characters.**

* * *

This was without a doubt, the perfect setting for a summer vacation. The quaint two story cottage was painted yellow with blue trim and sat in a small clearing surrounded by Douglas fir and Western hemlock trees, and rhododendron and blackberry bushes.

A red minivan pulled into the gravel drive and parked in front of the house. The sound of car doors slamming cut through the pleasant silence as four girls exited the vehicle.

Avalon and Audrey Burns were easily identified as sisters, they both had long wavy red hair and thin but full figures. However the similarities ended there, twenty year-old Avalon had blue eyes and was four inches taller than seventeen year-old Audrey, who was five foot four and had chocolate brown eyes.

Parker Burns was the sisters' cousin, nineteen years of age, and standing five feet four inches tall. Her hair was long and a rich dark brown, her eyes were the color of chocolate, and she had an athletic figure.

Then there was Katelynn Madison, Audrey's best friend. She was was the same age as Audrey and an inch taller, she had an athletic figure, short brown hair, and wide green eyes framed with rectangular glasses.

"I love this place!" Audrey exclaimed, hugging herself. "It's so cute!"

"Yeah. Cute." Parker narrowed her eyes at Avalon. "Just like the trick you pulled earlier."

Avalon snickered. "You still haven't gotten over that?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh come on, I wouldn't really leave you at a gas station." Avalon said over her shoulder as she walked up the porch steps.

The other three followed her, and Parker snorted. "Sure."

Avalon rolled her eyes and unlocked the front door. "It was a joke, Parker."

"Whatever."

Avalon rolled her eyes and shoved the door open, causing the hinges to creak slightly in protest.

"Oooooh." All four girls gushed as they looked at their new home for the summer.

To their left was a steep narrow stairway leading to the second floor, to the right there was a double wide doorway opening into the TV room, and straight ahead they could see two cozy chairs in front of a wood burning stove, and the kitchen area complete with two stools under the counter.

"I can't wait to see what the rest of it looks like." Audrey said, walking towards the back of the house.

The others followed her, oohing and awing when they saw the alcove dining area with the rustic table and chairs. Parker stopped to look at the closet under the stairs while the others kept walking.

"This is homey." Avalon looked around the small bedroom opposite the kitchen. "Who wants to-"

Suddenly a high pitched scream was heard and Parker came tearing around the corner looking like she'd seen a ghost.

"What the- OOF!" Avalon was knocked off her feet by her cousin, who landed on top of her.

"BIG SCARY DUDE IN THE CLOSET!"

"That's something you don't hear everyday." Avalon said dryly, looking somewhat annoyed.

Parker grabbed Avalon's shirt collar. "I'm serious!"

"You'll have to do better than that if you want to get me back for that prank I pulled earlier." Avalon stood up and brushed herself off before turning around and face-planting into a brick wall, or at least that's what it felt like.

Looking up, Avalon could see that she had actually collided with a man. He was about a foot taller than her, with broad shoulders, wearing a hockey mask, and carrying one huge machete.

A chorus of screams erupted from the four females as they crowded back into the bedroom and slammed the door.

"What the frig is Jason frigging Voorhees doing in our house!?" Avalon exclaimed after locking the door.

"I don't know and I don't care! All I know is we've got to get out of here!" Parker screeched.

"We're gonna die!" Audrey whimpered, starting to hyperventilate.

Avalon pulled Audrey into a hug and stroked her hair. "No we're not. Just calm down, everything will be alright."

Katelynn patted Audrey's shoulder. "It'll be okay, Drey." Then she looked up at Avalon with worried eyes.

Avalon raised her eyebrows, as if to say. "I hope so."

"Wait a minute." Parker spoke up. "Why isn't he trying to get in here?"

"I don't know." Avalon answered. "Don't you think we should be glad he isn't?"

"Well yeah-"

"Hey, guys?" Katelynn said, looking out the window. "Who's that? He looks familiar."

Avalon peered out the window and her eyes widened. "Oh my God... That's Hannibal Lector!"

Audrey's head shot up. "I ain't gonna be nobody's dinner!" She screeched.

"Be polite to him and you won't have to worry about that."

"Some vacation this is turning out to be!" Parker hissed. "Do you think any more scary guys are gonna show up!?"

"Please not Chucky. Please don't be Chucky." Katelynn chanted, squeezing her eyes tight.

"Nope, it's someone much better." A guttural voice chuckled from the other side of the door, accompanied by knives clicking together.

"FREDDY KRUEGER!?" Katelynn screeched.

"That's right, sweetheart." Another chuckle.

"And the crap has officially hit the fan." Avalon said dryly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dark Goddess013: Thank you for following my story, I hope you continue to enjoy it.**

**bluetigress: Thank you for the review. Yeah, Freddy and Jason in the same house isn't going to be a pretty picture, but it'll be hilarious (I hope). And I've only seen one of Michael's movies, so I don't think I "know" him well enough to write him into this story, but you never know, I could change my mind. :)**

_**Freddy - Barbossa'sGirl3 would like me to remind you that she doesn't own me, pretty boy, the retarded goalie, or that wimp that never actually killed anyone.**_

_**Me - -.- Freddy... You promised you would be nice.**_

_**Freddy - ... You actually believed that?**_

_**Me - *sighs* Like Freddy said, I don't own him, Hannibal, Jason, or the-**_

_**Freddy - Wimp.**_

_**Me - *growls* The other guest!**_

_**Freddy - Whatever.**_

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. :)**

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The door to the bedroom was now open, and Parker was staring down the three killers.

"What are you doing here!?" She demanded.

"We were hoping you could tell us that." Hannibal responded dryly.

"Well we obviously weren't expecting you!"

Avalon tapped her cousin on the shoulder. "Parker, may I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure."

The two girls walked to the back corner of the room, and Avalon began to whisper furiously. "Do you know who he is!?"

Parker rolled her eyes. "I've only seen his movie about twenty times."

"And do you realize how rude you're being!?"

"I'm not being rude, I'm being blunt."

"What if he doesn't see it that way?"

Parker shrugged. "So what?"

Avalon's eyes widened in frustration. "You want to be eaten!?"

"He's not going to kill me."

"Oh really? And what makes you think you're so special?" Avalon crossed her arms.

"I would have seen it in his eyes if he were angry at me."

Avalon shook her head in disbelief. "Whatever you say."

Parker brushed past her and walked back to the doorway to face the trio of killers.

"Now-"

"Hello?" A man's voice called from the entry hall, he sounded Australian.

"Steven!" Audrey squealed in excitement and ran past everyone else to go greet the new guest.

"Oh dear..." Avalon ran a hand over her eyes.

"Who is it?" Parker looked confused.

"Steven Price. He's from the House on Haunted Hill remake."

Her explanation was greeted with a blank stare.

"You've never seen it, I guess."

"No dur."

Avalon rolled her eyes and pushed past everyone else so she could follow her sister.

They found Audrey hanging koala style from the neck of a surprised and confused man. He was tall, wearing a dark blue suit and a red necktie, his dark brown hair was graying at the temples, he had a rugged looking face, a pencil thin mustache, and his eyes were the color of the ocean.

"Why is she hugging me?" He looked questioningly at the six people watching them from next to the stove.

Avalon couldn't help but be amused. "Because she likes you."

"..."

"She watches your movie at least once a week."

"..."

"Audrey, let go of the poor man."

Audrey reluctantly stood her feet back on the floor and sighed.

"Well..." Avalon cleared her throat. "I think it's safe to say that everyone who is going to show up, has, since there are four of us and four of you."

"So, you're letting us stay, huh?" Freddy grinned sadistically and eyed Avalon up and down, licking his lips.

Avalon looked disgusted. "When did you hear me say you could stay here?"

"Oh come on, Avy." Audrey whined. "How often do we get to actually spend the summer with our favorite movie characters?"

Avalon sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alright. They can stay."

"YES!"

Seven out of the eight occupants watched in part amusement and part nervousness as Audrey began bouncing around the house and giggling like a maniac.

"So..." Parker said after a few minutes. "We gonna get our stuff out of the car?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Woooo! Two chapters in one day! Yeah!**

_***attempts to fist-bump Freddy***_

_***Freddy just looks at me***_

_**Me - Ooookaaaaay... Anywhoozles! I don't own Freddy, Jason, Hannibal, or Steven. Dang it. ;)**_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

After indulging in a fun little escapade called unloading the van, which included Jason nearly tearing off the back hatch and Freddy accidentally severing the straps on Audrey's new backpack (she tried to strangle him afterwards but was pulled away by Avalon), everything was all neatly settled in it's proper places. Except for the girls' luggage. It sat in the entry hall while the sleeping arrangements were argued out.

"We are NOT sharing a bed, Freddy! That's final!" Avalon spat at the dream demon.

Everyone had gathered at the top of the stairs to take a tour of the other bedrooms and decide who would sleep where.

"Fine." Freddy grinned and put an arm around Parker, resting his clawed glove on her shoulder. "I'll sleep with Parker instead."

"I don't think that would be in your best interests, Mr. Krueger." Hannibal spoke up.

Freddy barked out a laugh. "What are ya gonna do? Eat me?"

Hannibal pulled back his lips in a not so friendly smile, showing off his teeth. "Yes. Though I'm not much of a pizza fan."

A sneer painted itself across Freddy's face and he stepped away from Parker to stand nose to nose with Hannibal.

"Careful, pretty boy." Freddy growled, holding up his claws for emphasis.

"Alright, boys, that's enough." Avalon said firmly.

When they just continued glaring at each other, Jason stepped forward and shoved them apart. Hannibal stumbled against the wall and Freddy fell on his rear end, only to spring back to his feet and glower at Jason.

Before Freddy could make some rude remark, Avalon spoke up loudly. "I think it would be a good idea if Hannibal were to take the little bedroom downstairs."

Hannibal nodded to Avalon. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Okie dokie then." Parker rubbed her hands together. "We still have to decide which bedroom we get."

"Easy." Audrey said from the doorway of the back bedroom. "We're taking this one."

The other three girls walked past Audrey and took a look around. There was a door off to the right that presumably led to the bathroom, while on the left there were two windows that let in plenty of light, there was a bed on either end of the room, and the walls were painted pale yellow.

"There's no closet, but there are big drawers under the beds." Audrey explained.

"It's nice." Katelynn said quietly.

Avalon glanced at Parker. "You okay with it?"

Parker shrugged. "Why not?"

"Okay then." Avalon smiled. "I guess the rest of you boys get to share the master bedroom."

Freddy scowled. "I ain't sharin' a room with that retarded goalie."

WHACK!

"OW! What the hell was that for!?" Freddy rubbed the back of his head and glared at Avalon.

She narrowed her eyes and growled. "Be nice!"

Freddy grumbled something, but other than that he remained silent.

Avalon put her fists on her hips. "If you don't wanna share a room with him, then you can take the couch in the living room."

There was a jolting tap on Avalon's shoulder and she turned to face Jason's chest, giving her the clue to look up.

"Yes, Jason?"

He made some hand motions, and from what Avalon could understand, he was "saying" that he was going to sleep on the couch because it looked more comfortable than the bed.

"Are you sure you want to take the couch?"

Jason nodded.

"Alright then."

There was a moment of awkward silence, and then Katelynn raised her hand.

"Yes, Katelynn?" Avalon looked curious.

"Who's going to do the cooking?"

They all looked at each other.

"May I volunteer?" Hannibal asked.

"It would be nice to have a gourmet chef." Avalon nodded. "But if there's ever any meat I can't identify..."

Hannibal looked slightly amused and nodded. "Understood."

"Okay then." Avalon headed for the stairs. "Let's bring our luggage up, girls."

The other three females trudged down the stairs behind their self appointed leader, followed by Jason, Hannibal, and Steven. As Freddy was moping around in the master bedroom, the other guys helped the girls bring their stuff upstairs and set it on the beds in the back bedroom.

Parker pulled something out of one of her bags and held it behind her back, grinning at her housemates. "I've got an idea for us to get to know each other better."

Avalon looked suspiciously at her cousin. "Really now?"

"Yep." Parker held out a red box, labeled 'Apples to Apples'.


End file.
